We all have experiences that helped shape us into who we are today. And while no two journeys are the same, the pain and struggles that we feel along the way often bonds us. Which is why I'm sharing my story - to sprinkle hope, offer support, or just lend an ear if needed.
Part of my story, is chronic illness. And while it does not define me, it has tested my boundaries, taken me to dark places, and taught me things about myself that I never would have known otherwise. Through it all, I never lost hope. With a strong will, decades of patience, and support from family and friends, I learned to listen to my body and navigate to a better life.
The story of my chronic health journey starts at the roots of my life. Reflecting back to my childhood, and knowing what I know now, it's easy to see that all the signs of things-to-come were there along. In isolation, they really aren't so bad. As a whole, it's a perspective.
Early-Mid Childhood
Chronic flu-like achiness that resulted in me leaving school early quite often (and labeled as a hypochondriac by all the adults)
Chronic constipation that often left me for hours in the restroom (prune juice wasn't helpful)
Eczema so extreme that my fingertips would dry, crack and bleed underneath my fingernails (the variety of creams didn't work)
Motion sickness on windy roads or long trips (no, I did not "grow out of it")
My parents did their due-diligence and brought up concerns with my MD's. The MD's offered a variety of creams, suggestions and expert advice, like "it's just a phase" to help set our minds at ease. But my mind was at dis-ease, because none of these remedies worked.
"But my mind was at dis-ease, because none of these remedies worked."
Late Childhood
All of the above, plus...
A severe sweet tooth, combined with SO many people telling me that I "need to eat more and fatten up, you're too skinny" led to a diet rich in sugar and carbs
Intense cramping in the arches of my feet, especially in the cold weather (eat more bananas)
7 cavities filled with Amalgam (aka...mercury - thanks to the recommendation of my Dentist)
Extreme heavy & irregular periods, along with anemia (here comes "the pill")
Horrifying cramps that often left me unable to stand, spinning circles in the floor, and crying in agony (nothing 6 to 8 (200mg) Ibuprofen pills every 4 hours couldn't fix)
Again, my parents brought up concerns with my MD, Dentist and Gynecologist. The original set of issues were of less importance at this point, because these new symptoms were screaming louder. Again, we were assured "this is common for girls her age, it's no big deal." So with some pills, a banana and a mouthful of mercury, I was sent on my way.
"So with some pills, a banana and a mouthful of mercury, I was sent on my way."
Early Adulthood
All of the above, plus...
Ovarian cysts (they'll "be fine, let them burst on their own")
Allergies to dust and pollen
Sinus infections (treated with antibiotics)
Severe coughing attacks that led to throwing up (lot's of cough drops and cough medicine)
Stiff knees that were too painful to bend (addressed with pain killer)
Chronic pain in shoulders and lower back (massages helped, but only during the massage)
Sharp pains shooting from the arches of my feet all the way up my legs, triggered by sitting/standing on hard surfaces or for too long
As a young adult, I did what I knew best. To the doctor I went, full of tears and pain. After an MRI and a few other tests, the last 3 symptoms above brought about a diagnosis of something called "Fibromyalgia" (Fibro), Neuropathy and Arthritis...at the young age of 25. My doctor was mystified, saying that Fibro had only been recognized in the American medical community as a "real disease" for a short time (most thought it was a fad disease due to lack of evidence on tests - you can't see this on an x-ray or blood test), and was typically associated with the 40+ age group. Lucky me, there was a new pill on the market for Fibromyalgia!
"My doctor was mystified"
Magic Little Pill
Here I was, at the prime of my early adulthood, diagnosed with something that middle-aged women get. I was in so much pain every day at that point, and the doctor was offering me a magic pill to solve it all. So, like an innocent little puppy, I bit.
And then, just like magic, all my troubles went away! I was cured and never felt another ounce of pain ever again. Yeah....no.... Nothing happened when I took the pills. Perhaps they were just placebo pills, I'll never know. But I stopped taking them.
"That's the moment I decided that I needed to get to the root cause. Because my doctors sure as hell weren't going to."
The Research
Determined for answers, I headed for the book stores, where I would spend hours at-a-time reading through research on any information I could get my hands on regarding Fibromyalgia - this mysterious and invisible illness. There were very few books on that topic at this time, so I expanded my research out to other chronic and autoimmune diseases, like CFS, eczema and arthritis.
While the books didn't really have the immediate answers I was hoping for, something in my "gut" told me to look at the overarching patterns. So I took a lot of notes, and looked for patterns across them. The books were filled with a bunch of research, and plenty of things to try to "help manage the pain" but no real documented cure. But I saw patterns across these diseases, and something deep down told me to keep looking. I was determined to do things my way. And thus began my road to discovery and recovery through a holistic approach.
Lessons Learned at this Phase
Skinny doesn't mean healthy.
Young doesn't mean invincible.
My doctors didn't have all the answers, nor desire to dig deeper to the root cause.
If I wanted to heal, it was in my hands.
Let's Chat
I'd love to hear from you - does reading about my health journey resonate with you in any way?
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